Well, because you could eat it. You could eat it. But not you ate it — Orbán ate it, but you could eat it. But wait, what happened, what happened was that Viktor Orbán and his people threw a bigger-scale thing together, obviously still before the election, before the big collapse, and they thought they’d splash out a bit, loosen the purse strings. All of this according to Hadházy. All of this according to Hadházy, yes, of course — but we do believe what Hadházy says.
And what happened was that if we crash hard in April, then we’ll even go to prison, so at least we should eat something good next to his son — but what should we cook? And since Viktor Orbán is a traditional man, he sticks to household-style matters.
Instead of a pig slaughter, that’s what they held. They went out onto the terrace, and then they saw, well, there’s chicken, there’s pig — and then right on the snowy hillside a zebra ran across in the background. And they said: zebra. And then that’s a kind of specialty, a kind of gastronomy, so let’s eat zebra.
And I don’t know exactly how, but I suppose they borrowed Ákos Hadházy’s quad bike. I imagine Viktor Orbán in some kind of WESCO boots, catching this zebra with a lasso. Well, not that — with the armored vehicle he… the security guard. They lassoed the zebra, caught it, burly men pinned it down, and then there was a zebra slaughter.
And then they🎯 Core Function
This is not factual reporting, but caricature.
It distorts political accusations into grotesque imagery (“zebra slaughter,” “lassoing a zebra”) in order to:
- trivialize allegations of corruption or moral wrongdoing,
- mentally exhaust the audience,
- and make those who take the accusations seriously appear laughable.
🔧 Techniques Used
1️⃣ Absurd Exaggeration (reductio ad absurdum)
Real or alleged criticisms are pushed to such an extreme that they become ridiculous:
- pig slaughter → zebra slaughter
- corruption → exotic feast
👉 Message: “If you believe this, you’ll believe anything.”
2️⃣ Ironic “Validation”
“This is all according to Hadházy… but of course we believe Hadházy.”
This is an apparent concession that actually functions as mockery:
- it pretends to accept the source,
- then immediately turns it into absurdity.
📌 Target: Hadházy Ákos portrayed as the “excessive accuser.”
3️⃣ Infantilizing Humor and Visual Imagery
- “rubber boots”
- “lasso”
- “burly men”
- “a zebra running across the background”
This fairy-tale-like, childlike imagery:
- emotionally distances the audience from real issues,
- prevents rational evaluation.
4️⃣ Deflecting Responsibility Through Laughter
Humor acts as a shield:
- anyone who criticizes is labeled “humorless,”
- anyone who questions is told they “don’t get the joke.”
This is a classic cynical propaganda reflex.
🧩 Hidden Message
The story is not about zebras, but about this idea:
“Criticism of those in power is exaggerated and unserious, therefore it does not deserve attention.”
Here, laughter does not liberate — it shuts down thinking.
🧠 Summary
This text functions as:
- 🎭 defense disguised as satire,
- 🧯 tension release through mockery,
- 🧱 intellectual deflection against criticism.
The “zebra slaughter” is not a joke, but a rhetorical device —
used to make real questions disappear. ate it.